Anger

Anger is one of the worst and most destructive emotions we can ever have. We feel angry with ourselves, with others and with the world. With anger we feel victim and helpless, in addition anger brings hatred and we become aggressive toward everything and everybody. Anger is like a flood that may destroy all signs of life. Angry people never care who or what they are destroying.


It isn't impossible to overcome anger, but first we have to deal with the stubborn obstacle that we will surely face which is pain. Pain and hurt are the main reasons behind our anger. Pain is an unpleasant feeling that I really hate especially the emotional one, for me it is the most hurtful. I believe I experienced emotional pain for long time that's why I feel unable to bear any kind of pain any more.


While looking for a treatment for my anger I thought about gratitude because of the feeling of peace, satisfaction and happiness that it brings, it may calm down pain and anger. Looking for the opportunities of learning and growth that pain brings can help to accept that pain is necessary to realize the moments of relief.
Thinking every day about what I am thankful for first thing in the morning and keeping it before my eyes all day long may help to reduce my anger and my pain.

Am I looking for Happiness?

     I asked myself this question and the answer was: "We look for something lost or missing". So I asked myself again : "How did I lose my happiness?", " Why did I lose it?" and "Who took it away from me?". Before finding out where it's gone, it's more important to find out "What is happiness and what stops me to be happy?".


     Do I need someone else to offer me happiness? What is missing in my life that can bring me happiness? What happiness have with what I have and what I don't have? Where can I find happiness? Where do I start my search journey for happiness? Who can help and support me in my search journey? Is it really missing or is it around me everywhere but I am unable to perceive it? I felt scared and frightened of the truth. I didn't find any reason for not being happy. I don't need to look for happiness, all I need is to do is to PERCEIVE and NOTICE its presence in my life.  All I need is to smile and laugh as much as I can, learn to make myself happy, take a more positive perspective, be optimistic, let go of unimportant and silly issues that happen every day. Feeling happy or not depends on my mind and my thoughts. If I ask myself the question "What is the value of what is happening compared to my health, happiness and wellness?" in every moment of my day and could give myself the chance to answer before reacting to the situation I think I will be able to let go of 90% of what is taking my happiness, my time, my energy and my life. Think deeply about the different situations that you face during the whole day that is draining your energy and wasting your time (energy + time = life), what is taking your life? I am sure that you will find that 90% of them doesn't worth anything.


      Feeling happy is totally your choice, all you need is to set it as your main objective in life and work hard to achieve it as you achieve any of your goals. You need to be aware and alerted who and what want to take your happiness away and  to stand in front of them to defend your happiness. All you need are just few seconds to make the right choice.

Could we fear happiness?

      
 I thought I learned everything about how to make myself happy, I learned it's my choice, I learned that repeating positive affirmations to gain self confidence, self love and self respect  can really help to lead to positivity and happiness. I learned  that happiness is my own responsibility.  I learned that likes attract likes, so if I am happy I will attract happy people into my life.  In spite of that I didn't take any action toward my happiness.

    Do I feel more comfortable this way? Am I more familiar with negative thoughts and unhappiness? Am I more familiar with complaining and I am not sure what else to do or say if I don't find something to complain about?  Am I afraid to look different from others?  I don't like to look different and hence to be noticed.
How will I communicate with them?  Am I afraid of their sarcasm and mockery? They may think I became mad. 
Why do we feel more comfortable or familiar with the negative approach we all tend to adopt in our life? We are all complaining, no matter what we have and what level of wealth are we living in, we just complain. Complaints are a common factor in all our conversations everywhere. 


    Am I afraid of looking better, more beautiful, shinning, energetic and enthusiastic?  Am I afraid of my response when I look better? Will I accept my current life as it is or will I rebel  against  it? Digging deep inside myself is really scaring me, I can't predict what will be the results and what will be the effect of this process  on my current life?

 I am afraid while I am looking for my own happiness I may destroy happiness of  my beloved ones.

I am the only one who can change my mind and my heart

I am pleased to introduce myself to you. I am a very simple woman who has been looking for a simple, smooth and quiet life. I have struggled, fought and lived under pressure for long years. My dreams were so humble; finding happiness and peace of mind. Weren't they so simple and so humble? I have always dreamed of someone to love me, understand me and make me happy. Was I so greedy or so demanding? I couldn't understand why life was depriving me of my needs when I was asking so little? I wished I could find a way to change all that and get all I want. It was my right, wasn't it?

Yes, of course, it was my right. It was my right to be happy, to be understood, to find peace of mind and find love and happiness. The only thing that wasn't right is my belief of who is responsible for that? Who will make me happy? Who can get my needs met? Who will realize my dreams?

Nobody! Nobody will make me happy, nobody will get my needs met, nobody will realize my dreams for me, nobody other than MYSELF.

Yes, that's what I have learned. I learned that I am the only one responsible for my own happiness. I learned that I need to love myself first. I learned that I won't be understood until I understand myself. I learned that I won't get my needs met until I do it for myself. I realized that I need to work on myself, not others, to change my life.

Feel the fear and do it anyway

Fear is usually, especially for me, is the main reason behind being stuck unable to move forward or afraid of taking risk. Fear of failure, fear of making mistakes, fear of looking foolish, fear of being blamed (the thing that I hate most) are different forms and excuses for not doing something, the end result is being stuck, prefering to stay in my confort zone.
Recently I decided to fight, I read about a book titled "Feel the fear and do it anyway" written by Susan Jeffers a renowned self help books writer, I subscribed to her newsletter a year ago and found them very useful and inspiring. So I decided to take an action and buy the book that I received one week later. Currently I am reading the book a first reading and I planned to finish it by end of this week and starting from next week I will start reading chapter by chapter again to apply the techniques on my coaching studies as I have a lot of fears in this area, I attend the classes without checking in, I am hesitant to post my reflections on the discussion board, I am unable to take a step toward starting to coach others. I am acquiring info and gaining knowledge but didn't apply what I learnt to my own life I feel more secure, more comfortable in my comfort zone, transition and change brings trouble in the begining until every thing is settled but until I get there I have to tolerate the consequences of the change, something that I think I am not ready for at the moment. My only hope is to be able to overcome my fears, feeling the fear and doing it anyway, and go ahead in my coaching jouney with the aid of Feel the fear concepts of Susan Jeffers.