Could we fear happiness?

      
 I thought I learned everything about how to make myself happy, I learned it's my choice, I learned that repeating positive affirmations to gain self confidence, self love and self respect  can really help to lead to positivity and happiness. I learned  that happiness is my own responsibility.  I learned that likes attract likes, so if I am happy I will attract happy people into my life.  In spite of that I didn't take any action toward my happiness.

    Do I feel more comfortable this way? Am I more familiar with negative thoughts and unhappiness? Am I more familiar with complaining and I am not sure what else to do or say if I don't find something to complain about?  Am I afraid to look different from others?  I don't like to look different and hence to be noticed.
How will I communicate with them?  Am I afraid of their sarcasm and mockery? They may think I became mad. 
Why do we feel more comfortable or familiar with the negative approach we all tend to adopt in our life? We are all complaining, no matter what we have and what level of wealth are we living in, we just complain. Complaints are a common factor in all our conversations everywhere. 


    Am I afraid of looking better, more beautiful, shinning, energetic and enthusiastic?  Am I afraid of my response when I look better? Will I accept my current life as it is or will I rebel  against  it? Digging deep inside myself is really scaring me, I can't predict what will be the results and what will be the effect of this process  on my current life?

 I am afraid while I am looking for my own happiness I may destroy happiness of  my beloved ones.

I am the only one who can change my mind and my heart

I am pleased to introduce myself to you. I am a very simple woman who has been looking for a simple, smooth and quiet life. I have struggled, fought and lived under pressure for long years. My dreams were so humble; finding happiness and peace of mind. Weren't they so simple and so humble? I have always dreamed of someone to love me, understand me and make me happy. Was I so greedy or so demanding? I couldn't understand why life was depriving me of my needs when I was asking so little? I wished I could find a way to change all that and get all I want. It was my right, wasn't it?

Yes, of course, it was my right. It was my right to be happy, to be understood, to find peace of mind and find love and happiness. The only thing that wasn't right is my belief of who is responsible for that? Who will make me happy? Who can get my needs met? Who will realize my dreams?

Nobody! Nobody will make me happy, nobody will get my needs met, nobody will realize my dreams for me, nobody other than MYSELF.

Yes, that's what I have learned. I learned that I am the only one responsible for my own happiness. I learned that I need to love myself first. I learned that I won't be understood until I understand myself. I learned that I won't get my needs met until I do it for myself. I realized that I need to work on myself, not others, to change my life.