Communication is crucial in all aspects of our lives, at home, at work, with friends and even with strangers that we meet once in our life. Our communication skills shape the relationship, few words may result in creating a life long relationship or life long hostility. Good communication requires good listening. Listening to the feelings, thoughts, fears and beliefs of other without judgement. One of the areas that communication plays a very important role is marriage and parenting, more precisely two areas but I find them tightly related so I considered them as one.
In marriage, lack of communication means no alignment of values, no intimacy, no listening and no respect for feelings of partner. Good communication needs being clear about your needs and your expectations, making assumptions that your partner knows what you need is not right and they may assume as well that they are doing the right thing.
Communication in parenting is crucial as well. I read an article titled " What teens really want?" and the writer mentioned that what teenagers need most is to be heard and understood. Usually parents do not listen to their kids, they talk and expect their kids to listen and obey. In fact listening to them in this critical period of their life is vital. During this period they start to know and discover a new world different from the childhood world. They are discovering the adults world and in the beginning it's shocking and confusing and at the same time it's an adventurous world. They need to be allowed to express their fears, worries their hopes about the new world and they need someone to assure and support them instead of someone who expect them to do everything the way elders think they should do. By listening to them we keep an open door for them to come back for advice and help when they need it. Telling them that our love for them is unconditional is a powerful tool to keep the door between us and them open all the time. Overprotection is not the right thing to do, it may be the worst thing to do in this relationship.
Communication and listening skills are so important in all aspects of our life, they could be improved by practice and learning. The next time you will talk to your partner or your kid observe yourself and see are you really listening or are you busy thinking about how you will reply? Did you get the feelings behind the said words? Try hard to improve your communication skills it may make a huge improvement in your whole life.
